Peshawar bleeds dry - 16th December, 2014

16^th December, 2014 has turned out to be the worst possible ending of the year 2014 with 130 people killed, out of which 120 were children and more than 150 injured.

It all began on the morning of 16^th December, 2014, when six to eight militants entered the Army Public School (APS) in Peshawar and opened gunfire and blasted bombs, killing anyone who came in their way. The counts started from 7 children dying to the martyrdom of 130 people, within a few hours, at the hands of these terrorists. Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan has claimed responsibility for the dreadful massacre.

Twitter and Facebook was full of concerned youngsters and adults when the death count was increasing; people who were not even related to the deceased or the injured were just as worried for the safety of the children of the nation, the children of Peshawar. Silent prayers were on the lips of every Pakistani today. Every Pakistani was waiting for it all to end, everyone was hoping to wake up from this horrible nightmare to realize it wasn’t true. All citizens of our beloved Pakistan were united, with eyed glued to their televisions, praying, and hoping against hope, because there wasn’t much else they could do to help.

I watched the parents and relatives of the dead, running about frantically in search of their loved ones. Mothers were fainting, bursting into terrifying wails on hearing the news of their children being brought back from school in a coffin. Fathers were torn apart after being informed that they would have to organize a funeral of their child. Brothers and sisters of the deceased could not imagine that they would now have to live a life without their siblings.

I watched the bloody bodies of the injured being rushed to the hospital on my TV. I saw 130 coffins being prepared for their respective funerals. I saw the coffins with the tiny bodies of the children in it, being carried by fathers, brothers, relatives and volunteers. I watched little kids being rescued by the Pakistan Army and running to their parents, with tears streaming down their face. Every channel I turned to, I saw two things: chaos and fear.

It’s a feeling so terrifying that it cannot be explained in words – the bewildering feeling of thinking what makes the terrorists do something so barbaric, horrendous and inhumane so as to kill children, little innocent children, who had done nothing wrong except for waking up and going to school? What makes them turn into such cruel and vicious creatures who kill 130 people and believe that they have successfully achieved their Heaven? What makes them believe that taking revenge because of the Zarb-e-Azb operation, by taking the lives of children could somehow be justified? But I wonder why I even ask these questions when I know the terrorists have no remorse or guilt, that they have died at the hands of the Pakistan Army but their fellow terrorists are probably dancing around in glee at the “success” of the operation.

A statement by the spokesperson of the TTP was released in which he said – “It’s a revenge attack for the army offensive in North Waziristan.” They were so intent on hurting the Army officials in every way possible that they entered one room and just asked the children inside to raise their hands if their fathers were in the Army. All the kids who did were shot point blank. Such is the barbarism of these animalistic Taliban. Even animalistic sounds like an unreasonable word to justify them, because even animals take care of their young.

I heard a statement of one of the elder students who survived. He said – “the terrorist entered our room and told us to recite the kalma.” Why did he order them to recite it? Because he wanted to kill them as a Muslim. Another statement of a father of a martyred child gave me chills down my spine. He said – “my son went to school in a uniform, and he came back in a kafan.” Another father said – “My child has not wanted to go to school today, oh how I wish I had listened to him”.

The fact of the matter is this – 130 people have died today (141 as of the latest count), over a 100 people have been injured, but these are just statistics for us now. We do not mourn human lives anymore. We do not have sympathy anymore. We do not feel the pain anymore. We feel horrified today, but by tomorrow we will have forgotten and we will have moved on to something else to cry about.

The government has announced a 3-day mourning for the lives lost. Did they give any thought to the mother whose whole life will not be spent in mourning? Did they give any thought on the emptiness of the houses of the families of the deceased? Did they give any thought to the children who will now be scared of going to school to achieve education? Did they give a thought to the stress disorders that will haunt the surviving children and their families, and all of Pakistan for the rest of their lives?

Political leaders have “condemned” the attack. They have demanded an investigation, and they have asked their officials to increase the securities of school. But does it make any difference? What use is the security, now that so many children have lost their lives? What use is the security to the dead children now? What use is the condemnation which is just a façade to show to the nation? What use is the investigation which will be left in the middle of nowhere?

Today is truly a black day. Today is truly a day of mourning. Today is truly a day when the nation lost their own children, their own future, and their own next generation. No words said can be meaningful enough to lessen the excruciating pain of this incident. But I have a prayer – that may God take His revenge. May God bless the martyrs. May God bless the affected families. May God burn the terrorists in hell. And may God make Pakistan, the Land of the Pure – pure from evil, pure from massacres and pure from terrorists. May God save Pakistan. 

Blasphemy Law: A Blasphemy In Itself

A couple of weeks ago, social media burst with the news of a video of Junaid Jamshed where he insulted the wife (Hazrat Ayesha) of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). In this video, Junaid Jamshed insulted Hazrat Ayesha, trying to prove a point about how women are flawed and defected.

As soon as the video went viral and people started hurling abuses at him for giving such insulting remarks to the wife of the most revered Prophet in Islam, Jamshed made a video, apologizing for his remarks, and claimed that he is a flawed human, and that since he gives lectures thrice a day, a mistake of this caliber was bound to happen. The video captures him putting his hands in front of people, crying, and begging them to forgive him for committing such a horrifying mistake.

While, most of the people believed Jamshed’s apology and forgave him for the video, I believe otherwise. I believe that he does not get to make such a horrendous mistake and then get away with it just by making a video, with tears streaming down his face. I will not even talk about whether he bothered to ask forgiveness from Allah, because that is a matter which will remain between the two of them. However, does him being a popular figure mean that he is exempt from all the sins he commits, just by making a video? Why then were the other accused persons not allowed a chance to spare a few minutes and make a similar video? Why was Asia bibi imprisoned and not given a chance to defend herself? All the accused would have been either alive or free, living their life normally instead of rotting in jail for Section 295-C which claims: Whoever by words, either spoken or written, or by visible representation or by any imputation, innuendo, or insinuation, directly or indirectly, defiles the sacred name of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) shall be punished with death, or imprisonment for life, and shall also be liable to fine.

This does not in any way mean that I support the blasphemy case that has been filed against Jamshed. He has lowered the status of women in Islam, even though they are given a much higher status. He tends to degrade them instead of dignifying them. However, all of that aside, my question is this – why is the blasphemy law not equal for everyone? Why are people defending Jamshed, and where were they when all the others were being accused and killed for blasphemy? Why were those perpetrators never caught?

Jamshed has been known to flee Pakistan to United Kingdom soon after the blasphemous video went viral. No one will admit this but everyone knows that he is not coming back anytime soon, not until this case is closed, not until his own fellow citizens forgive him, and most importantly, not until everyone forgets about this and finds somebody else to blame everything on. It does make me think that he is lucky he has the money and resources to fly away to another country, while Asia bibi, who was also accused of blasphemy and was arrested and imprisoned, had nowhere to escape to.

The blasphemy laws, giving the right in the hands of man, to hand out a death sentence or a life imprisonment penalty, have given liberty to many a people to accuse their enemies of blasphemy, thereby allowing them to punish them for crimes they might not even have committed. While our country is called the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, these laws are in no way Islamic and they need to be removed if the citizens of Pakistan are to live their life in peace. 

All apologies

Dear person with the bad eye,

I apologize for my rude behavior. I should not have stared at you so blatantly for having a bad eye. I should not have stared at you because you were different. It wasn’t your fault that you were born with it. You did not ask to be this different. I’m sure you must have had a difficult time going about, with people awkwardly looking at your eye, just like I did.

You were so polite, helping me buy the Converse I had come to buy. You even went out of your way to give me a 10% discount. You even told me I could replace my Converse if I didn’t find them too comfortable. You told me to come back soon for the new stock. You told me to have a nice day. Basically, you were nothing short of a perfect gentleman.

But I kept staring at your eye. While on one hand, I was trying my level best to pretend you were just as normal as I was, on the other hand, I couldn’t stop thanking God it was you and not me. I felt ashamed of myself for ostracizing you from my definition of normal but I couldn’t help it and I want to apologize to you for that.

I’m sure you must have met a lot of people in your life who mocked you or jeered at you because of your eye. You must have experienced people cringing at you when they see your face. You must have faced rejection while making friends, while applying for jobs, while just trying to live your life as normally as you possibly could. And I apologize for that. You see, us, normal people, we have a disability too, of the mental kind. We just can’t accept people who have physical disabilities. We can’t “hang out” with people who have a defect of any sort, because some time or the other, we end up letting them know we think they’re abnormal, they’re peculiar, they’re weird, that they’re just not like us.

All I want to say is a sorry and a thank you. A sorry for being so rude, for making you feel like you weren’t, when actually you are more normal than most of us “normal” beings. A thank you for being kind and polite even though I was technically very rude to you. I don’t have much to say because I am not able to express my feelings into words but in the words of Nirvana:

What else should I write
I don’t have the right
What else should I be
All apologies

Sincerely,

Me.

Pakistan - where everyone has a license to kill

Welcome to Pakistan. The Land of the Pure. The country known for its tourism and rich culture. The country known for its different cuisines. The country known for its historical place. And very unfortunately, the country known as the place where everyone has a license to kill.

The chaos and turmoil due to terrorism in Pakistan is on a constant rise. Various minorities are openly declared Wajib-ul-Qatal (worthy of killing) on national media. Banners can be seen against different sects instigating people against their existence. Wives, husbands, children are killed over petty issues. Parents, siblings and relatives are shot over property related problems. Suspicion is the cause of many women dying at the hands of their husbands and brothers. The list is endless.

Minorities including Shias, Ahmadis, Christians and Hindus suffer the most. They are publicly declared second-grade citizens. Most of them are not even given their due rights. When they are killed publicly, no news channel speaks for them, some newspapers don't even bother reporting the deaths. Day after day after day of sectarian killing, and no action is being taken. Furthermore, the killers are thrown flowers upon and congratulated for killing a Kafir, encouraging them to kill more people. 

The more people like me write posts trying to create awareness about the value of a human life, the more people are dying every day. I think people have become materialistic and have associated extremism with religion. I believe they have forgotten that once you shoot and eventually kill a person, you can’t really undo it. I believe that once you pull that trigger, once you shove that knife in someone’s abdomen, once you strangle someone’s throat, you can’t rewind time and pretend it never happened. You have to live with it all your life, and it will haunt you throughout the time you have left.

But what baffles me is this – who gave these people the license to kill? I know God didn’t. You just have to read the Quran properly to know that because Islam was and never will be a religion that promotes violence. Then who? And what makes these people believe that killing people on the basis of religion will grant them Heaven? Who’s to say they won’t be eternally damned? Furthermore, what makes the people, who kill people on the basis of property and other petty issues, think they can take this property with them to the other world? Don’t they know a coffin only has place for them and their deeds?

It’s such a common act nowadays. Shoot anyone who doesn’t agree with you. Put someone in their grave if they try and voice their opinion. Bury them if they so much as try to utter a word against you. I wonder if they’ve ever thought about what would happen if they were on the receiving end of that bullet. What would happen to their family if they were stabbed so many times that their bodies would become unrecognizable? Who would support their parents/children if they were to be shot, shoved in a garbage bag and thrown in the sewers?

Blood has been shedding over the smallest of issues nowadays. It’s not time to ponder over one’s actions. Killing people over your own frustrations will not lessen them. Snatching someone away from their family because you don’t believe in their faith will not make you any more righteous, or any closer to God. Spilling blood of your own fellow countryman will not make you love your country more.

No one should be given a license to kill on the basis of beliefs, petty issues, property issues, or a mere difference of opinion. This is how tolerance is learned. This is how harmony will be achieved, by learning to agree to disagree, by acknowledging that people think and believe differently and by realizing that we’re all humans, we all belong to the same country, and at the end of the day, we’re all Pakistanis. We need to stand up for each other, not against each other. After all, this is what the unity in Quaid-e-Azam’s Unity, Faith and Discipline stands for. And that is the only way Pakistan can be saved.

I am an Ahmadi and I love Pakistan

No matter how much I love Pakistan, it is not the place for me to be right now. No matter how much I say I love it, I will always be labelled a traitor in the place I call home. No matter how much I sacrifice for my country, my fellow citizens will always look at me with contempt and hatred. No matter how patriotic I am, I will be punished.. for being me.

I am an Ahmadi. I believe in the Oneness of Allah. I pray 5 times a day. I recite the Holy Quran. I fast during the month of Ramazan. I wish to go and perform Hajj one day. Then why must my religion make me out to be a traitor? Why must my faith decide that I should be murdered? Why must my belief make me so unworthy that even my own country, my homeland, fails to own me anymore?

I was born in and have lived all my life in Pakistan. Despite all the economic and social issues, I have loved Pakistan deeply and have never been able to imagine a life in any other country. Why then has my love for my country been reciprocated with hate? If I have never done anything bad for my country, why has it passed out a death sentence for me?

There are so many questions in my mind. I have been asking them from people who hate “my kind”, religious and non-religious people, and I have never been able to get a proper answer. The main question is this – who gave people in power the right to act like God? I know that the God I know does not give His rights to anyone. There is only One God and there always will be One. And He does not give anyone rights to kill innocent people, to massacre them, to murder them, to desecrate their graves, to makes their lives a living hell.

These people who pretend to take God’s place, they don’t know how Merciful He is, how Compassionate He is, how Gracious He is. Why then do they make Him out to be a God who punishes people for living in peace and for practicing their religion? Why do these people drag my beautiful God’s name when they are killing people like us, people who are not worthy of living in their eyes, minorities like the Shias, Ahmadis, Christians, Hindus, Hazaras and a hundred others that live in this country, fearing death with each passing second? If they did not deserve to live, why did God create them in the first place?

The flag of Pakistan has two colors – green and white. The green represents the majority, and the white represents the minority. I don’t remember ever reading that the minorities were not to be given equal status, I was never told that minorities were to be looked down upon, or killed, or shot, or raped, or kidnapped, or tortured, or humiliated. I was never told that minorities were not the “official” citizens of Pakistan. I was never told that living as a minority in Pakistan would mean I, or the million other minorities currently residing in Pakistan, would be somehow on a lower status as compared to the “official” majority of Pakistan.

I am a Pakistani. No one can take that away from me. You can shoot me for loving my country. You can torture me. You can kill me. But you will never be able to snatch away my love for Pakistan and my belief in Ahmadiyyat away from me, no matter how hard you try. You say you are “cleaning” Pakistan from all the traitors, but I say this. It is traitors like you, killing innocent people, who need to be thrown out to disinfect Pakistan. It is your intolerance that needs to be punished. It is your fatwey that need to stop being published. It is you. It is not us. And as time will tell, it never will be. 

What about the common man?

It has been 3 weeks since the Azadi/Inquilaab March started. Thousands of people came out of their homes to march against the current government for their poor governance. They have been living without proper shelter and sanitation for weeks now. Every night is dangerous for them for fear of attack by the police. And if that isn’t enough, there is frequent rainfall, much of which continues throughout the whole night.

It has been 3 weeks. And these people haven’t even THOUGHT about going back to their respective homes. Why? Because they have already experienced worse conditions and for them, this couldn’t get any worse. They don’t have electricity, gas or water. They’re unemployed. It is difficult for them to even provide food twice a day for their families. How worse could it get for them?

Meanwhile, an egoistic war carries on between Imran Khan, Tahir-ul-Qadri and our very own Prime Minister, Nawaz Sharif. None of them refuses to back down. None of them refuses to negotiate through talks. At this point, I believe their egos have reached such a high point that maybe they have forgotten about the common man, and just want to win this for the sake of their egos. But what then?

I don’t doubt the honesty of Imran Khan. Regardless of how immaturely he has handled the situation and regardless of how his speech has been a tad bit abusive towards Nawaz Sharif, he still seems to be an honest man. But now, after this egoistic war, it also seems as if his ego has gotten the better of him.

But I rant not for the politicians but for the common man. Who looks after them? Who cares for them? Who provides for their basic needs? They have been sitting in the open air for 3 weeks now, and who knows how long they’re here to stay. Some of them have been beaten up. Some of them have been injured. 3 of the women have even passed away. Did they expect that they would die waiting for this independence that maybe isn’t going to happen? Did they expect they’ll have to sacrifice their lives? I really don’t think so.

I don’t for a second sympathize with the government, because if the protesters were peaceful, they should not have ordered the police to throw tear gas and rubber bullets. Rumors have it that actual bullets were also fired. Blood donors were called from all over Islamabad and Rawalpindi to help the injured, and when they arrived, the police would not let them in. According to some reports, proper treatment was not provided to the injured, and they were being discharged without any medical care. A friend’s mother was also shot when she ran to help a baby girl. There were women in that March, there were so many children. And still the government orders the police to fire bullets.

On the other hand, I don’t sympathize with Tahir-ul-Qadri or Imran Khan either, who make decisions on the spur of the moment, thinking they can win this war and topple the government by their spontaneous decisions, not realizing that lives could be lost and people could be injured. And their supporters follow them blindly, because most of them neither know the first thing about politics nor can they see the pit their politicians might be throwing them into. Yesterday, when people (Tahir-ul-Qadri’s supporters or Imran Khan’s, we still don’t know) marched into the PTV station and allegedly vandalized it, after calling them back and scolding them for doing so, both TuQ and Imran Khan gave statements that these people did not belong to their party. But how can they not? Both leaders have been giving speeches, in which they have been instigating their supporters against the government. Didn’t they realise the people would get violent? These people are, after all, here for their freedom, and the leaders have told them that no freedom comes without struggles and fights. 

I worry. Not for the politicians. Because whatever the outcome may be, they’ll still end up in their mansions with their money and their luxuries. I worry for the common man. I worry for the lives lost. I worry for the injured. I worry that when they return to their homes, and circumstances don’t change, there will be more bloodshed. I worry that when they return to their respective cities, more violence will be incited. I worry that they will realize that they have been used in this power game. I worry that when they realize that, the politicians might have to run for their lives.

This protest should be for the common man and for him only. Egos need to be put aside. Money and power needs to be put aside. And the politics need to start thinking more about the country and its citizens and less about themselves. 

Limit of inhumanity - the Gujranwala incident

It was the night of 27^th July, when an angry mob attacked and burnt five houses, a storage building and several vehicles over alleged blasphemy. The blasphemy was against an Ahmadi young man for putting up a blasphemous image of the Ka’aba on Facebook. He kept on trying to deny it but it was not enough for the angry, inhumane creatures who just wanted revenge for something that never happened in the first place.

Eventually, an angry mob gathered and began protesting and eventually attacked and burnt homes and other property belonging to members of the Ahmadi community. Not only that, when the people inside the houses were trapped, the door locks were filled with elfy to prevent any escape. Windows were broken and petrol was set on fire to cause smoke to suffocate them. The mob was dancing happily on the streets after setting the houses on fire, while the police watched from the sides, doing absolutely nothing to intervene.

Meanwhile, inside the houses, a 55-year old woman, an 8-month old girl, Kainat and a 7-year old, Hira, passed away, unable to fight any longer. A woman miscarried during this incident and was provided medical treatment at Fazl-e-Umar Hospital in Rabwah. Following the violence, all the Ahmadi families fled Gujranwala, with nothing in their hands.

I keep wondering; is there any limit to this inhumane attitude? Will this ever end? I thought the violence had reached its peak 4 years ago on 28^th May, 2010 when 86 Ahmadis were massacred while they were in a mosque for Friday prayers. However, this seems even more inhumane, because a 7-year old girl and an 8-month old girl lost their lives. Why? Because they were Ahmadis. How could an 8-month old girl, who does not even know how to talk properly, have possibly done something so horrendous as to get this fate?

What shocked me even more was how they were celebrating murdering people, and that too, in the name of Allah. When Allah has ordered all mankind to live in harmony, and has ordered all Muslims to make Islam the most peaceful religion to exist, how can these animals kill innocent people and celebrate and dance as if they have been given the news that they’re surely going to Heaven?

When I sit and think about it, it shocks me to the very core. How can people murder innocent people? How can people torture them, burn them, degrade them? How do they not feel any remorse? How do the face of the people who they’ve so brutally murdered, not haunt them for life, in their dreams or otherwise? And then it hits me; they have been born into this chaos of a theory. They have been brought up that way, being taught along the way that killing anyone from another sect, especially Ahmadis, will make them Jannati. And that is why killing does not eat them from inside. Because they believe they are doing the right thing. And it is so saddening. Not only for the innocent victims, but for themselves as well. Because they are just building up the wrath of Allah. Allah is always Just. And He always Watches and Protects, and He always gives Justice in one way or other to the innocent, and always punishes the guilty.

Ahmadis all around the world are so saddened and shocked at the inhumanity and the torturous minds and actions of these so-called Muslims; I can’t even begin to imagine how the people directly affected from this incident would feel like. Especially the mothers who lost their children, the born and the unborn. My heart and my prayers go out to them.

All we can do now is pray. Pray and raise awareness. And help them in whatever small way we can. May Allah be with all Ahmadis and may He punish the guilty for all their actions. 

Dr. Mahdi Ali - An Ahmadi cardiologist martyred - 26th May, 2014

A US based cardiologist, Dr. Mahdi Ali, visiting Pakistan to provide free healthcare was shot down a few hours ago today near the Ahmadiyya cemetery (Behashti Maqbara), Chanab Nagar (Rabwah), Punjab. He had just finished paying his respects at the graveyard, when he was shot down by unknown assailants while coming out of the graveyard. He was murdered in front of his wife and toddler son. He has two other sons as well, a 5 year old and a 17 year old.

Dr. Mahdi Ali just recently came to Pakistan as a volunteer to serve in rural areas of Punjab to provide free healthcare of poverty stricken people. Dr. Ali was providing his services at Rabwah's famous Tahir Heart Institute.

Dr. Mahdi Ali was martyred after Fajr prayers. Why? Had he done ill to someone? Had he committed a heinous crime? Had he committed illegal acts? No. His crime was being an Ahmadi. His crime was belonging to a faith which is not socially acceptable for the people of Pakistan. His crime was being a known cardiologist from the Ahmadi sect, who came to Pakistan to provide free treatment to the poor and the needy. His crime was that he was not violent. His crime was that he was true to his faith. His crime was faith in Allah.

Dr. Ali was shot in front of his own and a toddler son. How will his wife forget the bloody image of his body out of her head, how will she stop thinking about the gunshot that took her husband’s life? How will Dr. Ali’s three sons carry on knowing their father was murdered, knowing they must now live a life without him?

Do the killers have no remorse? Or guilt? How do they expect to live with blood on their hands, how do they live with a face of the victim in their minds? Does it not haunt them? Don’t the cries of the deceased’s family not push them to the edge of insanity? Doesn’t the face of the toddler, whose father they snatched away too early, make them feel any remorse? How can a man be so brainwashed as to not feel all this?

Furthermore, what do these killers hope to achieve by murdering Ahmadis? Do they get some reward out of it? Has God promised them some special, secret reward that none of us are aware of? Do they instantly get closer to Heaven each time they take a life, no matter whose it is? Does that strengthen their faith? But then, how can killing a person strengthen anyone’s faith? Isn’t faith strengthened by prayers and meditation and fasting? As far as I remember, I was never taught to kill people or to torture them in order to get some special treatment from God.

Islam was chosen to be the last religion on Earth because it promoted peace. It never provoked anyone to go out to war, it never demanded any man to take the life of an innocent man, and it never commanded its followers to put on the armor of God and rule this world, when obviously they are not meant to do so. Islam teaches peace, not violence. Islam teaches harmony, not cacophony. Islam teaches love, not hatred. Then why are Ahmadis hated so much, when they have always promoted peace and love? Isn't it funny to see how these so-called Muslims are teaching people Islam, these "Muslims" who kill other Muslims? These Muslims who murder innocents in the name of God, and end up being a disgrace to the entire Muslim community? These Muslims who do not even KNOW the meaning of Islam, let alone be its delegates.

The killers and the murderers and the oppressors need to open the Quran they so claim to know all about, and they need to read its translation, and they need to understand what God wants them to do. Killing Ahmadis will not strengthen their faith, murdering innocent people will never ever grant them what they claim they have already gotten. After all, Allah is ever-Watchful. He knows what is in every man’s heart, and He is the One who will give justice to the oppressor and the oppressed. Allah is Watching.

May Dr. Mahdi Ali rest in peace, and may his family bear this loss with strength, grace and dignity, and may the killers of this innocent, innocent man be punished for the heinous crime they have committed.

Aspiring to be a journalist in Pakistan

I started writing at the age of 9. I remember my essays and stories back in 3^rd grade, some of which even won me some prizes. I have been meant to write, to express, to let my feelings flow into words. I have always loved how words could beautifully express a person’s feelings at a specific point in time, how they could send you in a completely different world, away from reality. The main thing that amazed me was how much words could make you feel.

I started writing again a few years later, but it was more real than fictitious, based on current affair and human rights. Mostly, I wrote about Ahmadis and how their rights have been violated by the so-called Muslims of Pakistan. It was then I decided (a little bit too late) that I wanted to be journalist. I couldn’t possibly study it but I could try and write, learn some tips, get more recognition.

Everyone around me has been asking me to stop writing. Close friends, family, acquaintances, and even some people on Twitter. Not because I am a horrible writer (God forbid) but because they are scared for my life. They know what happens to people who speak out, who voice their opinions, who are blatantly honest. They kept telling me to go abroad and start writing there but for as long as I’m in Pakistan, I should just remain quiet. Or I should use a pen name. Something, anything, which would protect me.

This is the situation of journalism in Pakistan. People who speak the truth, who create awareness in people are being slaughtered like animals. People who dedicate their life to the country are being attacked. People who are doing what they have always been passionate about are being blown to bits and pieces. Is the truth so hard so hear that you’d rather kill someone than hear it? How brutal can you really be?

I have wanted to be a journalist for a long time. I have wanted to serve my country through my word, even though being an Ahmadi, I will always be discriminated. I have wanted to create awareness about the rights being denied to minorities in specific and humans in general, all over Pakistan. But I also know that if I get published in a paper that would be it. Being an Ahmadi AND a journalist? Double treat for the illiterate, inhumane terrorists residing in our country.

I didn’t write this post because I’m scared for myself. I wrote it because I’m afraid for the hundreds of journalists who are brave enough to step up and speak the truth, and end up getting murdered in cold blood. How long will we tolerate this? How long will the government keep hiding murders and condemn them dutifully and forget about them an hour later? This terrorism can’t go on forever, journalists shouldn’t be targeted.

All I want to say here is this. Killing journalist does not hide the truth. If one dies, another will take his place. The truth will always remain. No amount of murders will hide it. The terrorists will only be adding sins on their accounts instead of virtues.

Stop killing journalists.

Stop killing honesty.

Stop killing.

Just stop. 

Gossip, the scariest of all flaws

Gossip, we all do it every day. Even self-righteous people who claim they have never talked about anyone behind their backs, have done the exact same; they just refuse to deny it. It’s a norm, now. Everyone does it, you, me, our neighbors, our friends, everyone.

I wouldn’t call gossip a sin, but I would call it a major flaw, something I’m trying to get rid of these days, so I thought maybe I should talk about it.

Gossip is the same as backbiting, no matter which way you put it, no matter how much you deny it. It will always be a synonym to backbiting, it always has been. The worst thing about gossiping, in my opinion, is not hurting people, horrible as it may be. The worst part is spreading rumors about someone, without getting your facts straight, throwing another person’s reputation down the drain, forgetting that they are also human. Even if you THINK you have your facts straight, what if you don’t know their side of the story, just the side you THINK you know? And even you do know some delicious, juicy secret, why spread it? The person who told you must have entrusted you with it, thinking you would keep your lips sealed, but you ended up blabbering out the whole thing as if you were talking about the weather. Why? Don’t people have feelings?

What people, addicted to gossiping, don’t realise is what they would do if they were put in the same situation. What if one day, they were being gossiped about, ridiculed and mocked, what if they were the hot topic of discussion every day for people? It’s the worst possible thing to be talked about, especially if it’s in a negative way. Most people don’t realise it until they’ve been put in that position, but now and again, everyone experiences it. And it’s only when they experience it do they realise the horrible, sinking feeling of people judging your every move.

I do not meant to point out anyone’s flaws here, we’re all human and we’re all flawed in one way or the other. But we can’t possibly justify our flaws by saying that we’re only humans. Being Ashraf-ul-Makhlooqat, we have been given the intelligence to realise and rectify our wrongs, and bring a positive change in ourselves. We should try to rectify ourselves in every way, because there is ALWAYS room for improvement in all of us.

It is true what they say – you don’t realize something until you actually experience it. Gossip is similar. You won’t understand atrocity of gossip until you get talked about. Don’t worry! Everyone gets talked about. You will only be spared if you sit in your home, being anti-social, with no technologies whatsoever. But even then people will wonder where you have disappeared off to. See? It never ends.

So next time, when you decide to talk about someone’s personal life with juicy bits and pieces which may or may not be true, think about how you would feel if someone did the same about you. Because karma has a way of coming right back at you. Always remember that. 

TTP website granted access?

On Saturday, the banned militant group, Tehreek-i-Taliban Pakistan launched its website, hosting videos, a magazine, and its leaders’ interviews and statements. It would serve as the central information portal.

The website contains the TTP flag, verses from the Quran, videos containing hate especially against the security forces. There is also a message of TTP deputy Shaikh Khalid Haqqani for the people of Balochistan, and pictures of slain TTP chief Hakimullah Mehsud and his successor and current chief, Maulvi Fazlullah. Also posted on the website are pictures of houses allegedly bombed by the army, details of the TTP position on the current peace process and information about the recent assassination of TTP leader Asmatullah Shaheen in North Waziristan Agency.

My question is this – Why is a terrorist site allowed access, a site which will bring terror and violence, but sites relating to Ahmadis, Shias or Balochis are blocked? Moreover, Youtube, which was used an educational site and an entertainment has been blocked for over a year but the TTP site is given approval?  Why the discrimination? Either PTA should block contradictory sites completely, or it should allow access to all sites. Furthermore, there is no point of granting access to a terrorist site. Is the government so under pressure by TTP that they are willing to agree on everything they ask? Makes me wonder how the negotiations are going to end up. Kind of scares me more.

The website contains videos spreading hate and propaganda material, especially against the security forces. Why is the government still not taking action on it? Which way are these negotiations going? Or are they only negotiating for their own lives and not the whole country’s?

Youtube, which was used to educational and entertainment purposes, has been blocked for over a year because of a blasphemous video. Time and again, the issue has gone to court, but without any result. The maulvis and religious extremists just won’t allow that website to be unbanned. But a TTP website? It’s such an innocent site, it can never be banned.
The second question that comes to mind is this – TTP are completely against the idea of the West and adoption of any practices of the West. How then did they decide to make a website, or use computers, something which signifies the West in every single way? Or their a rule that everything western that is practiced by the TTP is Halal and everything else is Haraam? How discriminatory is that?

Regardless of how much the government wants to show that these negotiations are going to work, terrorist sites need to be shut down by the PTA. They have already shut down hundreds of harmless religious sites, one terrorist site wouldn’t hurt them. PTA seriously needs to set their priorities right over what sites they believe should and shouldn’t be blocked.

What's more important - Famine in Thar or the objectification of women?

While the Council of Islamic Ideology (CII) is doing its level best to undermine the women of Pakistan by giving parents/guardians the license to give away little girls in marriage and freeing men of the need to secure the permission of their first wives before admitting second wives to their harems, people in Tharparkar are dying from malnutrition. They don’t have food to eat. Young children are dying from starvation.

Tharparkar did not receive any rain this year and all the reservoirs have dried up, leaving it in a famine-like situation. Tharkparkar is hit by such a situation every couple of years during which they have severe shortages of food and water, causing starvations and eventually, deaths. This year round, more than 36 children died of malnutrition. Most of the children were under 5 years of age. Numerous animals and livestock died, forcing families to pack up their belongings and move elsewhere.

A lot of starved children and pregnant ladies have been admitted to the hospital in Mithi. Relatives of the patients admitted to the complained that its administration was not providing medicines and they were forced to buy expensive drugs. “We cannot feed our children, how can we purchase medicines?” The hospital also gave a statement saying they were facing a shortage of doctors, nurses and paramedics, adding to the frustration of the famine-affected people.

Although the Sindh government has declared Tharparkar a calamity-hit district, it is yet to take any concrete measure to avert further losses. Its announcement to provide 60,000 wheat bags to the drought-hit people of Thar is yet to materialize. The district administration is reported to have told the relief commissioner that 60,000 wheat bags would not meet the requirement of about 175,000 drought-hit families.

When such a situation is affecting the country where people are dying, why is the media diverting the attention to the idiotic “Islamic” rules made by the CII about how girls should get married as soon as they hit puberty and encouraging men to take on second and third and fourth wives? Islam never taught this. Islam always gave women a high status but this, this is degradation. This is pure humiliation and the people passing these fatwas know it. Just because they can’t satisfy their own sexual frustrations, they decide to make a law out of it?

I told this to a friend and she says so what? It’s not like anyone’s giving them any importance. But that’s where she’s wrong. When media is giving so much attention to something, people tend to take interest. And since we were all born with extremism embedded into our minds, people do listen, and then people take action. Next thing we know, parents are getting their daughters married at the age of 14. Husbands are taking 4 wives, because that’s what Islam allowed, right? Islam does NOT allow women to be objectified, but that’s what the modern-age mullahs are teaching the nation. And that’s exactly what’s being implemented.


But I digress. My point of writing this post was to create an awareness of the famine in Tharparkar district. People there need you. They need food. They need water. They need treatment. Please do whatever you can do help them. They are our fellow citizens after all, and if we won’t help them, who will? Help them, and spread the message. If the government is too cruel and ignorant to help them (and yes I consider giving them just 60,000 bags to be a cruelty, when they need, at the very least, 5 times that amount), maybe we should try and assist our fellow brothers. Raise awareness. Raise your voice. Do what you can. Save lives. 

They keep saying time and again that time heals all wounds. But what if time just reopens them and lets them bleed for life? 

Dunya kitni darpok hai iss ka mujhay ab andaza ho raha hai

Aaj subha say main aik cheez daikh rahi hoon. Naam kisi ka nahin loon gi because idhar ronay walay bohat hain. DMs main baat lay jaatay hain aur phir kehtay hain main buri hoon. Khair choro.

I'm a very opinionated person. I need to have an opinion on everything. And if I don't know about something, for example, politics, etc, toh main search kernay beth jaati hoon. I can't stand not having an opinion. Laikin kuch loug hain iss dunya main, badnaseebi hai unn ki kay woh itnay jiyaalay nahin kay apna opinion poori dunya kay saamnay hazir ker sakain. Kyoon? Unn kay peechay police lagi hai? Ammi nay mana kiya hai? Girlfriend/boyfriend nay break up ker laina? Nope. Baat sirf itni hai kay unnko ye dar hai kay kyoon kay unn ka opinion baaki sab say different hai toh unn ki baisti ho gi, ya people won't like them anymore.

Ji, sahi parha hai aap nay. Loug sirf iss liye apna opinion nahin batatay cuz unn ko dar lagta hai kay loug unn ki shaid baisti ker dain ya phir unn say baat kerna chorh dain. Twitter aur Facebook per aur social forums per ye cheez bohat nazar aati hai. Agla banda chaahay kitni hi ghattiya ya ghalat baat ker raha ho, ye loug unn say agree hi ker jaatay hain taakay inn ki popularity intact rahay.

Sawaal hai mera aisay logoun say. Aap ko popularity toh mil gayi, followings/friends bhi mil gaye? Izzat mili? Self-respect mili? Nahin nah. Toh kya faida aisay fame ka jis main aap nay zaleel hi hona hota hai? Matlab ye baat aaj aap mujhay samjha hi dain kyoonkay mujhay toh ye baat samajh aati nahin. 

Jahan tak mera khayal hai, everyone has their own opinions and thoughts, and everyone is original in that way. But if you keep trying to agree with others just for the sake of getting people to like you, then I'm sorry, you neither deserve that fame nor the popularity that you speak of. Also, you need to have the guts to tell people they're wrong where they ARE wrong, or to tell people you think differently. There is absolutely no harm in thinking differently, unless you make it out to be that way. For example, I absolutely hate nose piercings. Matlab. Zeher say bhi buri lagti hain. Laikin ab agar discussion ho rahi hai iss per toh main yeh bol doon kay nose piercing achi hai just because everyone else is saying so, means kay main intehaa kisam ka lota hoon. Hai baat kay nahin?

Iss liye baraaye mehrbaani, have some guts, koi aap ko khaa nahin jaaye ga for having an opinion. Ajeeb darpok ho sab. Opinion rakho, don't be afraid to voice it. Koi kuch bolay toh aagay say sunanay ki himmat bhi rakho. Aur khuda ka naam loh, ye popularity aur fame qabar main nahin aaye ga saath. Iss kay peechay bhaag bhaag ker apnay aap ko dunya aur khuda kay saamnay zaleel nah kero. 

Yet Another Terrorist Attack

11 people, including a judge, Rafaqat Awan, were killed and more than 30 people injured today when unidentified assailants opened fire and threw crackers in a court in the F-8 area of Islamabad. TTP has denied any involvement in the attack, saying they would not violate the ceasefire that they had announced just a couple of days earlier.

It doesn't matter right now who was behind the attacks. Well, it does, but that's not why I decided to write this post. It was horrifying to wake up to the news of people dying in my city but what literally made my mind go insane is the picture below. 

Taken from the court attack in Islamabad today

This is human blood. A person died here. A human life was lost. The people that died today, they must have woken up, late to court today, perhaps skipped their breakfast, in a hurry to get to court.. But for what? To lose their lives? Is that what today cost them? And what about their loved ones? What about them sending their beloved ones out into the world, thinking they'll meet them in the evening only to get the news within an hour that there has been an attack and that they're dead, or critically injured? Also, what of people who have no idea where there loved ones are?

This blood.. Doesn't it look like slaughter? Like when Muslims kills animals on Eid day and the blood covers the ground? This is what this looks like. Human slaughter. I've said this on countless occasions and I will say it again - we have forgotten the value of a human life. Even today, when I know the people of my country and city have been killed and critically injured, much as it breaks my heart, it's just a number. The first thought that came to my mind when I got to know of the blast was - how many people died? It didn't matter to me that even one person dying was enough. I just wanted to know the stats. And it's not just me. Stats are what matter now. Less than 10 people die, it was nothing important. More die, and people start flaring up.

11 people lost their lives today. Why? We might never know. By whom? No idea. But somehow, in the bigger scheme of things, it doesn't matter. What matters is that eleven families have been affected today. They might never be able to forget 3rd March, 2014, which was supposed to be just another day.

I just want to request you all to pray for the people who passed away today, and for the people who have been severely injured. They deserve a prayer, to say the least. I would also like to request prayers for the affected families. May they be able to bear this horrible, horrible loss with strength and dignity.

Beta, Twitter ko halka lain, Twitter hai, zindagi maut ka faisla nahin

Aaj informal type blog scene hai because ghussa bohat hai aur ghussay main kabhi acha blog likha nahin ja sakta.

Aik toh mujhay samajh nahin aati kay dunya jahan ki har cheez per tum logoun nay larhna kyoon hota hai. Matlab difference of opinion naam ki cheez ka toh poori zindagi suna hi nahin ho ga, haina? Bus jo aap nay keh diya woh sahi, baaki sab jhootay toh unnki zabaanain kaali haina? Beta aaaa kero, zabaan daikhni hai aap ki. Ajeeb ho yaar. Matlab argue kertay ho, pata bhi hai kay aglay banday ka different khayaal hai, laikin larhna bhi hai, aur phir khud bhi tappna hai aur doosray ko bhi tappana hai, aur baaki poori dunya ko baith ker laanat daini hai. Samajh nahin aati tum logoun ki.

Aik dafa main hi samajh kyoon nahin jaatay kay aap nay dunya kay rules nahin banaye jo itnay know-it-all banay phirtay ho. Har aik apni knowledge kay hisaab say bol raha hota hai. Laikin nahin, pata hai toh hamain pata warna baaki sab toh bethay hi jaahil hain, aap ki haan main haan milaanay kay liye. Oh woh daikho haathi urh raha hai! Ji bilkul theek kaha aap nay, haathi hi urhtay hain! Idiots.

Phir aatay hain aik khaas kisam kay loug jinn jo hum moralfags kehtay hain. Ji, ye woh loug hain jinhoun nay poori dunya per fatwa laga ker keh daina hota kay aap toh jahannum main hi ghar bananay ka soch lain. Khud bhalay hi namazoun kay waqt bhi nah pata ho, laikin lagay hain doosroun ko zaleel kernay. Aap pehlay zara apnay garebaan main toh jhaank ker daikh lain, kaunsa aap khud doodh key dhullay way hain? Apnay aap ko theek kerna nahin, aaye hain baray poori dunya per fatway laganay. 

Acha uss sab ko bhi chorr dain, aik awaam hai jis nay aaj kal sahi dimagh kharab kiya wa hai Twitter per. Ji bilkul sahi samjha aap nay - Rs. 20 kay 2 follower day do, Rs. 40 ki 10 RTs day doh. Oh bhayeee. Twitter hai kay PhD ka imtihaan jo ziada say ziada number lainay hain? Ussmain bhi itni mehnat nahin ki ho gi jitni tum loug waisay Twitter per mehnat ker jaatay ho. Balkay abhi parha hota toh shaid idhar RTs aur followers per mer na rahay hotay. Main Twitter per jab bhi log in hoti hoon, 4 loug hain jo har waqt apni follower count ki baatain ker rahay hotay ya RT baich rahay hotay hain. Yaar aap ko zindagi main aur koi kaam nahin hai? Ghar say nikaalay gaye way ho? Matlab hadd hoti hai yaar. Doh loug toh aisay hain jo beth ker logoun ko bol rahay hotay hain kay main aap ki follower count increase kerwata/kerwaati hoon, jaisay Tweeps toh inhi kay hukam say sab ko follow kertay hain. (Ji aap sahi samjhay hain kay main kis ki baat ker rahi hoon). Agar aap itni mehnat apni real life per kerlain toh shaid aap ko Twitter per bethnay ki zaroorat hi nah parhay. Juzz saying.

Iss poori bakwas ka basic point ye tha kay Twitter ko zara halka lain. Sar per sawaar kernay ki koi zaroorat nahin hai. Nah apna dimagh kharab kerain, nah baaki poori dunya ka. Twitter hi hai, zindagi maut ka faisla nahin ho raha idhar. Iss liye baraaye mehrbani zara haath haula rakhain aur apni hi izzat ki fikar ker lain, chaahay kitni hi kam ho, hai toh sahi nah. Nahin bhi hai toh zara dimagh ka istemaal hi ker lain. 

Welcome to Talibanistan - Land of the Taliban

“Welcome to Talibanistan. Yes, that’s what the name Pakistan has changed to. The country is run by a little bit differently now, but please don’t be afraid. You’ll get used to it soon enough. Just wanted to give you a little heads up on how things are running here so that you can get accustomed quickly.

Talibanistan is a Muslim country. Any citizen of any other religion is deported or found dead somewhere. The Muslim minority sects i.e Shias and Ahmadis are by all means Wajib-ul-Qatal, since their beliefs are a tad bit different than those of the Talibans, and of course the Taliban do not like anyone to have a difference of opinion with them. Ahmadis and Shias are running for their lives, they barely make it to the airport before they’re shot in the head. All these people are openly labelled as Kafir on print and electronic media.

Women have no rights at all. They do not have the right to vote. They are not allowed to educate themselves and their daughters; it’s considered unIslamic for a woman to go out and try to seek knowledge. Her place is at home. She needs to tend to household chores and look after her children. Of course, they won’t be allowed to work and earn money as well as that is the job of the man of the house.

If a woman is raped, she will be the one who gets a sentence for trying to blame a man for violating her rights, not when she is an object and it is her fault for dressing up in a way which would provoke men.

There would be no cry for human rights, women rights or rights or any sort for that matter. Anyone who does so disappears or ends up dead.

There is a ban on social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, GooglePlus etc are all be banned because they are considered unIslamic.

Women are not be allowed to wear jeans. Any girl without a dupatta, or wearing a short top will be condemned. Come to think of it, men aren’t allowed to wear jeans either. Everyone must wear shalwar kameez.

Violence has become the main problem solver. If there is any sort of problem, treat it with violence. This is the reason why arms and ammunition are so commonly sold nowadays.

Any product considered unIslamic is burnt or destroyed. Shopkeepers are not allowed to keep any product in their shops which might be considered unIslamic, by any standards.

Anyone found eating during Ramazan is beaten up, or arrested, or punished in one way or another.

This is Talibanistan. Land of the Taliban.”

Every politician in the country is talking about peace talks with the Taliban. Do they really think that they can negotiate with this inhumane creatures, who find pride in killing people? They just want power, and they find power in the violence. The Taliban are not dumb; they’re smart enough to negotiate only when they have the power. And when they do get that power, this is what is going to happen to the country. This is how the country will run, with every citizen living in fear and hopelessness. So just to let you know, oh-great-politicians-of-Pakistan, these peace talks will not bear any fruit, at least nothing sweet. Taliban need to be destroyed, they need to be taught a lesson for all the innocent lives they’ve taken. They need to be punished. Don’t hold peace talks with them, carry out a military operation. Or are you scared they’re going to kill you too? And to avoid that, would you give over your country to violence just to save yourself? Or would you be brave enough to save the country first? 

You deserve more than 140 characters

So... you're getting married soon, but 140 characters seemed too less for me to be able to wish you. And I couldn't really send a 100 tweets over to you. So I thought I'd write a post to wish you. I'm sure we've all figured out who I'm talking about here. =] 

You've been through so much, losing your significant other and your beloved, beloved son. I barely knew you back then, but I felt that loss like it was my own. Maybe because I have lost a piece of me when I was young, so maybe I know what loss means, what grief feels like. But you were, and are, so much stronger than me, saying it was God's will. Your faith is exceedingly pure. I was in doubt when I lost a loved one, you just hand it all over to God. And that always means one thing - Jo khuda ka ho jata hai, khuda uss ka ho jaata hai. So you have God on your side, and you should consider yourself very lucky in that.

I know a lot of people, people much closer to you, have been there for like I never have been, even though I wanted to but I just wanted you to know I've admired your strength, your courage. You stood like a pillar when your own heart seemed to shatter into a million pieces, for yourself, for your son and for everyone who wanted you to be alright. Considering the loss you went through, it was a huge thing, and you have a lifetime of respect from me, and everyone from Twitter, for that.

So, now you're going to begin a new phase of your life next week InshAllah. All I can say is that I wish that you will always, always be happy. May your partner always keep you happy, and may your family be every single thing you ever dreamed it to be. May you always be happy, may there never be darkness and grief in your life ever again, you've seen enough to last a lifetime. May you happily tweet your life away hahaha jk, seriously I hope you always always stay the strong and amazing person you have proved yourself to be. Khush rehna, thoray say gulab jaaman idhar bhi yes keranay hain. Aur apni shaadi to the fullest enjoy kerni hai. =D 

Also, you should know that regardless of that fact that I don't know you that well, you're a source of inspiration for me, both through your strength and your blog. Your blog is one of the finest I have seen, and I absolutely love it. Never stop writing. I know you won't but yknow mera farz hai kehna hahaha. 

Hope you like this =]

When will murders on the basis of religion end?

An Ahmadi man, Raziullah Din, was shot at and killed by unknown assailants in Aurangi Town area of Karachi, Pakistan, on Saturday, February 8, 2014. Raziullah Din, accompanied by his wife, and nephew, had left their house when two unknown assailants began firing at him and one of the bullets hit his neck and damaged his windpipe. His wife rushed him to a nearby hospital where he passed away. 

Another Ahmadi man martyred. Did he hurt someone? No. Did he kill someone? No. Was he a criminal or involved in illegal activites? No. Why then? Because he was an Ahmadi. He had a different belief. He believed in one Allah, and he believed in the finality of the Holy Prophet (SAW) as a law-bearing Prophet. But there is one tiny area where his belief differs from the "normal" Muslims of Pakistan. He believes that Hazrat Ghulam Ahmad Qadiani is the Promised Messiah and Mehdi, the one whose arrival was awaited by the whole world. 

He was 27 years old. He left behind a wife and a 2 year old daughter. Can you imagine the daughter growing up without her father? Can you imagine the kind of life that wife will live without her husband, her protector, being there for her? Can you imagine his mother, his father, his family living their lives with a hole that he left in their heart, albeit unintentionally? Can you imagine the hurt and pain everyone around him has to go through with him gone?

There is one thing I can never understand. How can anyone have so much hatred be instilled into someone, how can a person detest another person, a person he barely knows, for his beliefs? How can anyone hate to the extent of murdering someone? I read this quote somewhere - "In every murderer breathes the man he murdered." How can these savage beasts not feel remorse after murdering an innocent human soul? I refuse to believe that it doesn't eat them alive, even if they have been brainwashed into believing that Ahmadis are Wajib-ul-Qatal. How can they kill a human like he's an insect? Is there no value for human life anymore? And if the answer to this question is no, then why so? 

My point here is not to question anyone's beliefs. Everyone needs something to believe in order to maintain their sanity. But if I can believe that, if I can respect a difference of opinion, why can't everyone else? Why is hatred, instead of tolerance, being drilled into our minds? Why is every religion, every sect adamant on declaring war on the other? Why can't we all live in harmony, all religion peacefully co-existing? Why is it too much to ask?

Yesterday, a man died because of his belief. It could be any one of us tomorrow. Raise your voices for discrimination on the basis of religion. Stop this injustice. Let yourselves be heard. Let no more blood be spilt on the basis of religion. Let the value of human life be restored. Let peace prevail.

Bittersweet

You get good grades, you get in a good college. You achieve one thing after the other. You step over milestones. You get married. Big moments are taking place in your life and you're happy. But, there's a thought constantly nagging you at the back of your head. A thought that's slowly eating away your happiness. The thought that your father isn't here. He possible can't be. He can only watch from above.

For me, getting married was probably the most happening thing that could ever have happened. A nerd, I was always expected to get good results, so that was never as huge a thing as getting married, spending the rest of my life with someone else. I think most of the girls here would agree with me. Getting committed for life is a huge deal. 

Throughout the period before my wedding, I kept telling myself that I have to be strong, I have to be tough and handle it like I've handled 9 years of my life. And maybe all the days up to my wedding, I did. But it's the worst possible feeling, a mix between a sinking heart and a broken one to get married without one of your parents. It's a feeling I would never ever wish on anyone.

I used to go to his grave, talk to him almost every day, tell him about the day, how I was, how everything was going on, how Hassan was. I felt he needed to hear it from me, even though my sensible side knew that he couldn't hear or see me. Maybe I talked to him to save my own sanity, I really don't know. Maybe I never will. But my heart was at peace, there was a tranquility in talking to him, to let it all out, albeit in sobs. 

It's so eerily quiet in graveyards, have you noticed? Or is it just me? Like the dead are holding on to every single word we say to them. But in that quiet, I have always found calmness. Even if I have gone home sobbing, I have still always found it the best place to be when you need to talk, to think, to clear your head.

The worst part was me going in yellow clothes, mehndi on my hands, ready for my wedding the next day, to visit my father in a graveyard. To pray for his soul but also to tell him that I loved him more than anyone else, and that the next time I'd be seeing him would be when I'm married. Being a girl and being very close to my father right from the start, it has been an emotional trauma that I've never gotten out of. 

But there were so many things left unsaid, things I couldn't say out loud, for fear of losing it right there, so I thought a couple of things needed to be said, just because. Abbu ji, I hope you can see this. 

Abbu ji, I miss you. Not that I have ever not missed you, but I miss you even more. It was such a bittersweet event, a happy occassion with you not there. Never had I thought I'd be getting married without you there. But ammi took your place, she acted both like a mother and a father so all the credit goes to her for being strong for both me and her. I visited you everyday, I hope you were happy about that, couldn't really go through a day without talking to you. I love you so much, even if some memories are fading away slowly, courtesy of this defected mind. The worst revenge my mind could ever take on me is clear memories of you from my head. And it has. I forget how you sound like, I forget your words, your laugh, the smell of your perfume. But one thing remains constant. That I will always, always love you.

If you're reading this, there's a surprise waiting for you by the end of this year, most likely. I hope you like it. You always told me to pursue whatever my heart told me to, and this time I am, secretly. I hope you like what I have in store for you.

I love you so much it hurts. I hope I'm able to make you proud one day. I hope one day people say that "Mutahir and Lubna's daughter" is an achiever. That is the day I will be content with the life I've lived. Till then, I hope you have faith in your daughter. 

I miss you so much it hurts. Know that.

Saniya. 

Oh world, why are you so cruel - a retort.

Recently read a blog post of someone who mentioned the world being cruel. This is my retort.

The world is not cruel like you think it is; neither are the people cruel like you think they are.

Every individual goes through life in the world and is tested along the way. Some are tested greatly and some are not. Some make the right choices and some do not. Of the choices made, they might be influenced by a number of factors which become a catalyst in creating the choice they make to make decisions. Some individuals though, don’t get to make choices; it is purely based on circumstances created by God that their choices in this world is very limited and they pass through to the next phase of their ‘souls’

If God has created this world as a test of life with joy, sorrow and worship, and has said the afterlife is everlasting then this can only mean this world is just a passing millisecond of what the rest of the life of the soul witnesses. The fact that if we endure this world as it is and make this passing time better for others and ourselves regardless of the cruelty gets us to an even better life as a soul, it should be treated as a blessing that we are being allowed by God to show how good we can as individuals with the correct choices and a true heart.

If this was a perfect world and God would guide us in this world at every step whether we wanted it or not, no one would lie, no one would murder, no one would hurt one another no one would die of famine. The very purpose of life as it exists would cease to exist because the definition of life is to choose the paths with a true heart knowing what is taught through history and in the words of God the right path. The world is not cruel because it just is, it is cruel because many people treat this as the only life they are bound to be ‘alive’ in when most don’t know yet that this is just a life in this physical body and the soul is destined to be in the sight of God forever and in his blessing. So forgive whenever you get the chance, smile when you see good and pray when you see bad and let the true honest heart guide you for what we are destined for, being Good even when others are not and praying for the betterment of everyone else.

In the end all souls belong to God and in the end the ones which go through hell through their cruelty will end up being with God after being cleansed. The innocent and the victims will be already be with God in a ‘life’ that is as eternal as God wants it to be. 

By Hasan Ahmad 

Oh world, why are you so cruel?

Oh world, why are you so cruel? Why are you so cruel to the people living here? Why?

Why do babies die soon after they're born? Why are there stillbirths? Why do couples, who've managed to get pregnant after years and years of trying, end up losing their kid because of some complication in their pregnancy, or end up having numerous miscarriages, or even if they have a normal delivery, their child dies seconds, minutes, days later? Oh world, why are you so cruel?

Why do girls get raped? Men and women were made to be equals. Does having more strength than a woman give any man the right to torture and rape her, to destroy her life in such a manner that she will never look at anyone the same way again, or she might end up taking her own life? More than that, why do minors get raped, children who haven't even hit puberty yet? How can anyone ever live with that? Oh world, why are you so cruel?

Why do people get bullied? Everyone lacks in some aspect or another, why then do we tend to make fun of someone's flaws when we're clearly not perfect ourselves? What would we do if anyone pointed out our flaws to the whole world? Why not hide people's flaws or help them get better? Oh world, why are you so cruel?

Why do people get murdered? Is there no value of the human life? Why are people shot over petty things like land disputes, family fights or religion. Yes, religion is a pretty petty thing to kill someone over. No one should die because they have different beliefs than you do. What if the sects you're killing started killing you because of what you believe in? How would you feel? Why are the newspapers full of obituaries of people who got murdered, most people who're just in their 20s? Why are their families left to spend the rest of their life in torture with the empty hole in their life? Oh world, why are you so cruel?

Why do people fall in love with someone who doesn't love them back? Why do people get played? Why do people create traps for other people? Why do people betray other peoples' trusts? Why are some people always rejected? Who do people lie? Why don't people realise that other people's lives are connected with theirs? Why does this world come with so much hurt and loneliness, with so much pain and heartbreak? Why oh why world, are you so cruel?