Labels.

It's common in our society to comment on people, the way they look, the way they dress, the way they talk. I'm sure most of you who're reading this can relate to this, because all of us have said "what a bitch" "God! Look at the way she dresses" "oh my God! He looks so gay!" at some point in our lives. Or something related to that. We've also commented on their looks, something people really can't control, because it's Allah, who makes the faces.
So why the labels? Why is someone labelled pretty, and someone oh-so-ugly? Why is one guy hot, and another one gay? Why is one girl awesome, and another a slut? Have we never thought about how they must feel when they hear such things being said about them? Or rather, how would we feel if someone labelled us as a bitch, or a whore, or gay, or just plain ugly? Why is it that we need to label people, to separate the "pretty" from the "ugly" so that we can hang around with the more popular ones, just for show-off? Why is it that we make so much fun of our fat friends, that they resort to bulimia and anorexia? Why is it that we keep on telling a person he's emo, that he goes home and actually cuts himself to prove he's emo?  Why is it, that we need to talk about people, and their appearances, just for gossip, or to make fun of them? Who are we to judge them? I mean, I know, I,myself, have commented on a lot of people, but now that I think about it, what's so right in it? We are noone to judge anyone. On what they wear, on what they believe and on what they choose to do with their lives. It's their life, not ours. What gives us the right to judge their lives. Or rather, who gives anyone this right to judge people when they don't know the reasons for what the others person sayings and actions. Who gives anyone this right to talk shit about people, not thinking even for a second that they have a heart too, and they feel too? Is it fair to them? Put yourselves in their shoes, the ones who're labelled as sluts, and gays, and the losers of our society, the fat ones, the emo ones, whoever we make fun of.. Put yourself in their shoes and think of how it would feel if you were being taunted, you were being made fun of, you were being mocked. And then think of how horrible they might actually feel.
Think about it. Think about how it must feel :)

Some more things I've learnt

1. If someone asks you to choose between them and someone else, never do. It's always going to come back and bite you in the ass.

2. Don't forget old friends just because you have new ones. New ones might be more interesting for a couple of days, but the old ones might hang around for a longer time, and won't consider you a time pass either.

3. Your parents and siblings are the only people who'll love you unconditionally. Anyone else who says they do, are just lying to you on your face.

4. Pure, unconditional love does not exist. It always comes with certain conditions.

5. Don't choose between your significant other and your best friend. You're bound to get hurt.

6. If your best friend asks you to stay away from someone or something, they're probably looking out for you, not looking forward to crushing you.

7. Don't say anything about someone else that you wouldn't want to be said about you.

8. Have an attitude. Don't be the type of person who's always available for everyone.But don't have so much of it that you're labeled an arrogant snob.

9. Don't ever take someone for granted. You don't know how quickly you can lose them.

10. Never doubt your faith, whether someone is in favour of it or not. It's your belief. And no one can take that away from you.

11. Never lose hope. Even if your darkest hours, hope is the only thing that'll show you light.

12. Honesty is always the best policy. Lying is not going to get you anywhere.

13. Don't chase after anyone who's walked away from you. If they wanted to stay, they would have. If they wanted to come back, they would never have left.

14. Never be totally dependent on ANYONE.

15. If you don't want shit to be said about you, don't bitch about others in the first place.

16. Don't be all about hard work and no play.

17. Be original. Be yourself. Trying to be someone else can make you lose your own self in the way.

18. Don't think that what goes around doesn't come back. It ALWAYS does.

19. Trying to gain sympathy from your friends only makes you an attention-seeker. Nothing else.

20. Never feel sorry for yourself. If something bad has happened to you, fix it. If you can't, then accept it. And move on with your life.

21. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry, and you cry alone.

22. If someone asks for help, never turn them away. Someday, you might be needing help from the same people.

23. Always be a realist. Not an optimist, not a pessimist.

24. Don't give a damn about what people think of you. It's your life, your choices, your beliefs. Hold you head up high and stand firm on what you're doing or believing in. Because people just need something to talk about.

25. Never be the person who can't keep a secret.

26. Facebook is public. So think before you write anything.

27. Life is not a bitch. That's what you might have made it, for yourself.

Strength!

What defines a person is how well he rises after falling.
A friend showed this to me a couple of years ago and at that time, I really couldn't figure out what deeper meaning it had. But today, all of a sudden, I had an epiphany. Strength is the greatest quality anyone can ever have. Whether we've had it all along, or whether we learn how to be strong, it doesn't matter. It's needed throughout life. Through every hardship. Through every crap ever given to us, through every fight, through every loss.
Strength is needed when we lose someone we love ( whether it's family, a friend, a pet or a lover) physically or emotionally, it's needed when we fail to reach expectations(built by us or by someone close to us), when we fail an exams, when someone tells us something that we don't really want to hear. Strength is needed when someone dies, strength is needed when someone leaves us, when we leave someone, strength is needed when things change, when people change, when we need to change..
But just because we need strength doesn't mean that we always use it when the time comes. Because when the time comes, we don't want to be strong. We want to scream, we want to shout, we want to question God's actions. We want to have never gone through what we're going through. We hurt. We cry. We fall into depression. We forget that we need to be strong and realize that this is life.. and that life has its down and that life isn't always about being happy. We fall from grace.
What we need to master is strength. So that when a moment comes which makes us fall into despair and we can't see a ray of light in the darkness, we're strong enough to move past it, we're strong enough to let go, we're strong enough to believe that life goes on. We're strong enough to live life like we were instead of thinking that life isn't worth living.
That strength.. is the best thing that can ever happen to us.

Religion

Religion. One of the most controversial topics to debate on. Nonetheless, I shall continue. Religion has its good points and its bad points. And I'm not talking about one religion, I'm talking about religion as a whole. Religion is the binding force that brings people, belonging to one religion together, it inspires them, it instills faith in them, they have something to believe in. They pray, they beg for forgiveness, they have a spiritual bond with the God they believe in. I believe that it is through religion that salvation is reached, and it is the path that ultimately leads to Allah's happiness. Religion has so much significance that I wouldn't do it justice by writing just a short note about it.

However, religion has a negative aspect too. Religion causes fights, and a superiority complex. I'm not saying everyone who belongs to a religion has it. Some people. Ofcourse, everyone is proud of the religion they belong to. And ofcourse, it's obvious they believe in it quite firmly, otherwise they wouldn't be a part of it. But the part, that I don't like, is that no person belonging to a specific religion should point fingers at someone who belongs to another religion, and say they're wrong. They might be wrong, no doubt, but noone has the right to disrespect anyone's beliefs. Everyone believes in what they want to believe, Allah's given us that free will. But I believe that no one should say outright that someone else is wrong. That causes fights, that causes doubts, that causes fights, wrath, anger, rage. Even if a person believes someone else is on the wrong path, the least we should do, is to tell them what we think is right, and leave it to them, instead of saying they're wrong, and they should be condemned. It's their beliefs, and whether they choose to make a Heaven or Hell out of it, it's their choice. But I believe no one has a right to point fingers at someone else. The quote from the novel "Religion causes wars, it breaks apart countries. It causes people to point fingers at others. It is just a petri dish for stereotypes to grow in. Religion is not about being holy, it's about being holier than thou" is true to an extent. It is true that people who think they're superior over everyone else, due to belonging to a specific religion, will condemn others. It is true that they judge. It is true that they think that only they'll go to Heaven. And I believe that is wrong.

All I ask for, is to practise the religion we belong to and do our best to achieve salvation, instead of condemning others, and thinking we're the only right ones. All it takes is a little humility.

Change..

It was raining hard today, and as I sat by the window, staring at the rain, I started thinking about my past, about the person I used to be and the person I am now. I was very stupid, I've done a lot of things I'm ashamed of, I've hurt my best friends, my friends, my family and I've been rebellious. In short, I've been a teenager. A crazy one, yes. But a teenager.
Now, thanks to the people that I love the most, I'm a changed person. I'm mature. I don't do stupid things when I'm hurt, I don't go crazy like I used to. (well I still do it sometimes =$) But I'm older and I may not be wiser, but I've learnt to deal with people leaving, I've learnt to deal with hurt and pain.
Everyone tells me they've put behind my past, and the stupid things I used to do. But as I was lost in thought today, I've realised that no one ever forgets. Every single person remembers my stupid acts, they would remember every unmature thing that I did, forgetting that I'm human, and that I have to learn from my own mistakes. All the people who remember it, might even talk about it someday, and I'm not only talking about me, I'm talking about all the people who've done stupid things. No one ever really forgets what you've done, no matter how hard you try to cover it, no matter how much time has passed.
Everyone changes ultimately. People learn from their mistakes, they move on. They realise the extent of their stupidity and they try to make it better. But they also need confidence to be a changed person, to bring out the good inside them, and they can never be confident when people are gonna keep on talking shit about them
So to all those people, who talk about the stupid things that other people do or say, I'd just like to say this = Look at yourself from the inside, for who you are. You're not perfect, no one is. Everyone has their own faults. Learn to accept them. You're making fun of them and gossiping about them right now. One day, if you do a stupid act, they'll be talking about you and making fun of you. Think about it.

My dad :)

This is something I wrote about my dad when I was 14, I think. Just wanted to share this with you guys.. And here it goes.




I can still see him walking towards me with twinkling eyes and a huge smile fixed on his face.His arms are open as if he wants to embrace me in a tight hug.I run into his arms to hug him back when suddenly he vanishes into thin air.I look around frantically but i can't see him.I realised that i had been imagining things again...

Im talking about my role model,my dad Pir Mohyuddin Mutahir Ahmad who was born in 1955 and died in 2004 which seems like just yesterday...or was it a few years ago???i can't remember....but what i do remember is him....he and his kind heart.My dad was such a pleasant personality that he can't be forgotten in second....it would take centuries to forget it but i doubt it.Anyone who talked to him for even the first time fell at ease with him.Guests and friends were welcomed with open arms and cheerful smiles and were offered everything that was present in the home.Some were even taken out for sightseeing.Maybe that is why our home became such a popular meeting place for people.

Mark my words:i dont think or rather i dont KNOW that anyone who knew him could say even a word against him.He was such a kind person that he could not even hurt a fly even if he wanted to.His colleagues and friends had a high opinion of him,his relatives adored him and his family.....they just could not live without him.He was helpful to everyone who wanted help,whether it be relatives,neighbours,or even the beggars in the street.He had a gift that few people have:kindness and that is what made him such a pleasant personality and made people adore him.

He loved his family with all his heart.We would always be waiting for him to come home from work so that we could spend some quality time together with him.He was my constant advisor.He helped me in mty studies especially computers.We played badminton and went hiking together.As soon as he came home i used to tell him about how my day went and what i did at school.I also used to share secrets with him.Sometimes Mom would get mad at both of us and it always used to be us against her=p...In short he had all the qualities that a best friend could have.

My Dad was at a constant war with lies.One day,as usual,he asked me if i had finished my homework or not.I didnt want to say that i hadnt finished my homework because that would mean missing my favourite show.So i told him that i hadnt got any homework.But he immediately knew that i was lying because i was looking down instead of in his eyes.So he said that are you lying.i asked how did you know?He never gave me and answer but he made me realised what wrong i had done and i vowed never to lie again.

When we shifted from Rawalpindi to Islamabad,i had mixed feelings.i was sad at leaving my old home which had swings but at the same time i was excited also because i was moving to a new place and new surroundings.Dad knew that i was sad at leaving my old home because he knew how much time i spent on the swings.So he kept on trying to make me feel excited about our new home and told me that i would have my own room and things like that.He struggled to see me happy and his hard work did pay off....because as soon as we shifted i was totally excited about me new room and almost forgot about the swings in my old home=p

A couple of years back,Phupho and Mamoon went to Murree and we went too.They had planned to stay the night but we hadnt as Dadi was alone at home.However,Phupho wanted us to stay till dinner at least.She insisted so much that we decided to stay for at least dinner.Dad asked me to call Dadi and tell her that we will be having dinner in Murree and so we would come back late.He did not want to do it himself because he knew that she would get angry at him.So i was told to call her and when i told her that we would be eating dinner here she said that she wouldnt eat too unless we were here.When Dad heard this,he told Phupho that they were going to have dinner with Dadi because she wanted us to have dinner with her.

I used to have a very bad temper and when something went against my will and wishes, i would go all angry and go upstairs and stomp my feet while doing so.At this time Dad would alawys say that:"Saniya!Thora aur zor se maro paoon.Haan ab sahe ai!".This would make me even more angry but when i used to sit down and think over it,i used to laugh over it for hours.

My Dad was a software engineer and was a great help to me in computers because i hated the subject and only when Dad taught me did i understand it.He would give me lectures and would solve all my problems .One day i came to him with another problem of mine regarding softwares and when he saw my notes,he told me that they were not correct.I told him that my teacher had given those notes.He told me to tell him that these are wrong and the notes that i am going to give you now are correct and you may show them to your teacher if you like.So the next day i went to my teacher and told him that your notes were wrong and these notes are right and they have been given to me by my father.So he did some research on it and it was proved that the notes my teacher provided were wrong.When i told my Dad about it he was pleased at himself for proving a teacher wrong!!!

Dad loved hiking and used to go to hiking almost everyday.He also insisted that i should also come with him.When i asked him why do i have to go too?He said that because i was getting fat!!!!=DSo i went with him and although the first few days were a nightmare for me as i had no stamina but after some days i started to have fun.When i got used to it,we even used to race back down.We even went on full day hiking trips with my cousins and vbrothers and it was so much fun even though when we came back,we used to be totally wrecked.Me,Bilal and Dad also used to play badminton almost every night after he came back from work.Me and Dad used to be on one side and Bilal used to be on the other side.Dad always tried to distract Bilal by making him look here and there and used to win.(hehe)

As i look through the pictures,i refresh my memories and i think oh that is when me and Dad went on hiking or that is when we celebrated my birthday.Although he has been dead for almost 3 years but i still cant get over it.In the beginning i literally waited for Dad to come home from work so that we could play badminton together.But slowly,i stepped back into reality.I realised that neither my tears nor my hopes were going to make him come back.After this realisation, slowly the burning pain of the tragedy came to a manageable level but it never left me.The wounds heal but the scars remain.

There are times when i miss him so much that i cant resist crying.There are also times when i refuse to accept that Dad is no longer with us anymore.Many a times,i just wished that this was all i nightmare and i would wake up with Dad amongst us.But i know that this wish of mine can never come true....But i wish that wherever he is,he is happy!


When i was a baby
he walked ahead of me
just to set an example

When i was a teenager
he walked behind me
to catch me when i fell

When i will be an adult
me and my memories with him will walk together....

People Always Leave

Why is it that people always have to leave? Even the most trusted friends, the ones you think can never leave, and that they'll always stay till the end, even they leave. Maybe they get sick and tired of what you are, maybe they never liked you in the first place, maybe you are just a time pass for them. Whatever the reason, it hurts a lot when some one leaves, forever. You know they are never going to come back. It's very rare that some one does come back and when they do things are never the same. They can be brought to a normal level but you will never be as close to them as you were before.

Sometimes it hurts so bad when people leave. They don't even give you any valid reason for leaving. They just say something totally chiuldish like we don't get along together. But what the hell? Everyone can get along if they tried to. No one has the same kind of personalities. While others leave you because they think you are too depressing, too childish or too whateverish. If you become some one's friend, you have to accept them the way they are. There are only SOME very rare people in this world for whom a person is willing to change. It's not everyone they are willing to change for.

People whom you have known for a long time, when they suddenly decide to leave you, or if they have been turned against you, it hurts a lot. It hurts so much sometimes that you stop having the will to live. You just want to end it all and die. You try to take pills, you try to kill yourself but then you realise you have other people to live for too. But you still feel the searing pain in your heart. You just can't ignore it. You lose interest in everything. You even forget the people and the things that you do have. At that moment you forget eveything except the fact that your close friend has left you all alone to deal with life. They have refused to let you cry on their shoulder, they have refused to listen to you, they have refused to calm you down when you need some one to tell you that everything is okay, they have refused to share your joys and sorrows. They have refused to talk to you. They've just ended the friendship as if it had been just a mere contract which had an expiry date... and that's when you realise what you really meant to them. That is when you realise that you were never close enough for them to trust you. They never meant to trust you. You were just meant to be a time pass. And when you realise that, believe me it's the worst feeling ever.

There is no exception to this rule... People will always leave. Every one does always leave in the end. No exception. It's just that sometimes they come back. Although it's rare, it does happen. But you can never ever expect that people won't leave. There is not a person in this whole world who has never been left alone. Not a single person. Friends, family, relatives, colleagues, enemies, everyone leaves. Even you might have left some one but you just don't want to realise it. It always happens. Just another rule of life..

Friends..

A friend is somebody you met on life’s highway, something that started when you were younger, may be weren’t too keen at first, part of a small group, You didn’t always like them, perhaps because they reminded you of you, as we trudge along the high way they are there for you for just little things at first and they may not always experience what you do but they try to give good advice and help, and if nothing else they give you happy memories and lots of laughter, you don’t always realize how important they are to you, and you let them weave in and out of our lives, life sometimes keeps us busy and we can’t always be there with them but they are never far away in our thoughts. We stray off the pathway sometimes but they are always there to drag us back! Then it’s our tun to pull them back, don’t lose sight of your friends. They are your guardian angels there to help you and you are there to help them too! so make time for them especially at the difficult times when you think OMG what will I say? At least try it will be appreciated, fetch the laughter back and all the funny memories this is what it’s all about!

Life wouldn’t be the same without ‘friends’ to experience it with you…they’ll pick you up when you fall, they’ll make you laugh and cry…but the people that make you smile when no one else can and stand by you through the bad times and good times that life throws at you…are  your true friends…cherish each second you have with them.