I'm writing this post, after two days because back on election day, I didn't really have the strength to write this. Nor the patience. I was, for the first time in my whole life, angry at everyone.
May 11th was Election Day for Pakistan. A lot of hype was created through televisions, banners, rallies, and social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. The reason why these elections seemed to be more important were because a lot of Pakistan's youth was getting out of bed and going out to vote. A lot of the youth was fighting for their rights. A lot of them wanted justice and peace and a Naya Pakistan as Imran Khan calls it. Anyway, a lot of hype was created. Every day I would get messages and mails from my friends asking me to vote for this candidate or that, and that no matter what, I should vote for "balla".
A lot of people in my social circle don't know this, but I'm an Ahmadi. Therefore, they don't know that under the 1973 constitution, I, along with the whole community, was declared a non-Muslim, and can not exercise my right to practice my religion freely, or to say Salam or Bismillah or any Quranic verse. I am not allowed to call my prayer Namaz, and I am not allowed to call my holy book Quran. I am not allowed to call myself a Muslim even if I recite the Kalma Tayyaba. I am not allowed to call my place of worship Masjid. However, if I call myself a non-Muslim, publicly declare it on a piece of paper, I will be allowed to vote and I will have a say in the country's politics.
I was never a political person but this time around, I was very interesting in who would win, because I was following the elections for an internship I was doing. However, as the elections got closer, everyone got even more hyped up. People at work and friends on text kept asking me who I'd vote for. And I was constantly saying - noone because according to Pakistan, I am not illegible to vote. Why? What does religion have to do with who becomes the leader of the nation? I will never know. But the truth stands that I was not allowed to vote. And much as I was against the system, deep inside I wished that the constitution had not been so cruel with us. That it should have let Ahmadis vote. That it should not have rejected us, just like that.
Election day came and everyone was going off to their respective centers to vote while I was stuck at my chair in my office, pretending it didn't hurt me, pretending not to care. Then, everyone started showing off their inked thumbs at work, and on Whatsapp, Twitter and Facebook. And for the first time, in all the time I've lived, I felt left out. And I felt that I didn't belong even though I wanted to. I think that's one of the worst things ever. And then when people kept asking me why I didn't vote, there was a time when I just wanted to shout you know? That I'm an Ahmadi and Ahmadis have no rights AT ALL, that I want to vote, I would LOVE to vote but I'll have to give up my religion, the only thing that I stand firmly on. I have loved Pakistan to the core, despite its shortcomings, it's the best place I could have grown up. But on May 11th, it seemed that Pakistan did not want me to be a part of it. That Pakistan wanted me out.
So I guess all I wanted to say was this - Pakistan, I know you have disowned me and my community, and you are not going to give us any rights in the near future, but you should know that despite all of that, despite me not having a say in the elections, I will always love you. I just hope someday you'll love us back as well.
May 11th was Election Day for Pakistan. A lot of hype was created through televisions, banners, rallies, and social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. The reason why these elections seemed to be more important were because a lot of Pakistan's youth was getting out of bed and going out to vote. A lot of the youth was fighting for their rights. A lot of them wanted justice and peace and a Naya Pakistan as Imran Khan calls it. Anyway, a lot of hype was created. Every day I would get messages and mails from my friends asking me to vote for this candidate or that, and that no matter what, I should vote for "balla".
A lot of people in my social circle don't know this, but I'm an Ahmadi. Therefore, they don't know that under the 1973 constitution, I, along with the whole community, was declared a non-Muslim, and can not exercise my right to practice my religion freely, or to say Salam or Bismillah or any Quranic verse. I am not allowed to call my prayer Namaz, and I am not allowed to call my holy book Quran. I am not allowed to call myself a Muslim even if I recite the Kalma Tayyaba. I am not allowed to call my place of worship Masjid. However, if I call myself a non-Muslim, publicly declare it on a piece of paper, I will be allowed to vote and I will have a say in the country's politics.
I was never a political person but this time around, I was very interesting in who would win, because I was following the elections for an internship I was doing. However, as the elections got closer, everyone got even more hyped up. People at work and friends on text kept asking me who I'd vote for. And I was constantly saying - noone because according to Pakistan, I am not illegible to vote. Why? What does religion have to do with who becomes the leader of the nation? I will never know. But the truth stands that I was not allowed to vote. And much as I was against the system, deep inside I wished that the constitution had not been so cruel with us. That it should have let Ahmadis vote. That it should not have rejected us, just like that.
Election day came and everyone was going off to their respective centers to vote while I was stuck at my chair in my office, pretending it didn't hurt me, pretending not to care. Then, everyone started showing off their inked thumbs at work, and on Whatsapp, Twitter and Facebook. And for the first time, in all the time I've lived, I felt left out. And I felt that I didn't belong even though I wanted to. I think that's one of the worst things ever. And then when people kept asking me why I didn't vote, there was a time when I just wanted to shout you know? That I'm an Ahmadi and Ahmadis have no rights AT ALL, that I want to vote, I would LOVE to vote but I'll have to give up my religion, the only thing that I stand firmly on. I have loved Pakistan to the core, despite its shortcomings, it's the best place I could have grown up. But on May 11th, it seemed that Pakistan did not want me to be a part of it. That Pakistan wanted me out.
So I guess all I wanted to say was this - Pakistan, I know you have disowned me and my community, and you are not going to give us any rights in the near future, but you should know that despite all of that, despite me not having a say in the elections, I will always love you. I just hope someday you'll love us back as well.
Asalaamualaikum A Troubled Mind,
ReplyDeleteI live in London and am a Sunni that is insha'Allah converting to Ahmadiyyat at Jalsa Salana UK 2013. I know exactly how you feel in terms of feeling disowned. Alhamdulilah my parents and siblings also agree with Ahmadiyyat and wish to convert alongside me. During the UK Peace Symposium 2013 my sister and I got the chance to meet Huzoor as well as Apa-jaan and even reminiscing the day brings tears to my eyes. I know that I am not yet part of the Jamaat but I want you to know that even though Pakistan may have disowned you, the rest of the Jamaat are praying so hard. Don't ever lose faith in Ahmadiyyat. It has been the biggest struggle with telling family and trying to make people understand, but I love my religion much more than anything else. You are a brave person, writing this blog, and although not voting was a hurtful experience, just remember that these people will answer to Allah the Almighty about what they have done to Ahmadis. Remember love for all hatred for none is our motto. Answer all their hate with love and insha'Allah Allah will guide them the way He has guided my family and I. Stay strong in your deen, and don't let the hurt stop you from doing what it right. May Allah shower you and all the Ahmadis in Pakistan in His blessings, Ameen. I will, insha'Allah pray for you, and though we have never met and never spoken, I will remember you in my duas. As a lasting comment, I'd like to wish you an easy and beautiful Ramadhaan. All my love, A Guided Muslimah.
Walaikum Assalam.
ReplyDeleteI just read this today, hence the late reply. You can't imagine the happiness inside my heart after reading that you're converting to Ahmaddiyyat. InshAllah Allah will be with you all steps of the way, and so will every member of the Jamaat. Mubarak ho aap ko aur aap ki famly ko bohat bohat.
MashAllah I am from an Ahmadi family so I have never experienced the disowning of relatives and such. But friends not talking and stuff makes me realise how difficult it is for all of us.
Yes, I do not intend to lose faith in Ahmaddiyyat. It is probably the only belief that I stand firm on, and always will inshAllah inshAllah. And that is what keeps me going - knowing that all of us are in it together, that it's a tight, loving community, which will always help me in every possible way that they can.
Thank you for visiting my blog and loving it, do read the new posts as well, and if you have any queries, do not hesitate to contact me. My email address is channo@gmail.com
Love for all, hatred for none.. this is what angers them the most. That we respond to hatred with love. And that is how I intend to carry out My Jihad. =] With my pen and my voice (and my keyboard lol)
Thankyou so much for the duas, I will pray for you too, and I hope we all stay in this together. =] Happy Ramazan to you and your family as well. And once again, welcome to the Jamaat =]
u r brave
ReplyDeleteThankyou.
ReplyDelete