Since I was a child, I was constantly ordered by my elders to pray five times a day, to recite the Quran, learn its meaning and to remember Allah in every joy and every sorrow. While seems an easy thing to read, it's much harder to actually put it into actions. Because when you are in sorrow, most of the time you end up questioning God instead of praying to him. When you are happy, you completely forget him. When you are angry, you tell Him that whatever happened was wrong. It's only when you are in trouble and you find no way out, that you seek Him, forgetting about how you have always ignored Him.
All our lives, we hear of people talking about how other people have used them, how they have just bothered contacting us because they wanted a favour, but isn't that the exact thing that we are doing to God? Don't we ignore him when we're content with our lives, and bow down to Him only when we need something? Not that He needs our prayers, but we do need Him, because our life and everything to do with it does lie in His Hands and His Hands only.
For as long as I can remember, my prayers have been usually a duty. A responsibility put on me. I have to pray five times a day, so I will. Maybe I'll skip a few since I'm busy with random, worthless things, maybe I'll join them together, maybe I won't bother. When I do pray, I keep thinking of worldly stuff instead of concentrating on God. And I'll pray fast so as to not miss my favourite show. I'm sure most of us have done that, because we are humans, we are bound to err at some point in our life.
Recently, a friend (literally an angel in disguise) made me realise what love for God is. How you completely submit your whole self to Him and beg for His mercy in all walks of life. How your really start concentrating on the words said during your five daily prayers, and as soon as you do that, you can't stop the tears from coming. How when you pray or recite the Holy Quran, you try and imagine that God is listening to you and you shudder and vow to be true to yourself and your faith. How you do every single act knowing that God is Watching you, and you actually try and be good.
Normally, you listen to these kind of conversations, apply them on your life for a week, and then find something more interesting. For me, when this conversation ended, I vowed to love God like He has loved me (of course, He probably loves me more). I started praying five times a day with a new fervour, and every time I started praying, I would imagine that God is listening to this humble soul, and I would almost crumble. I would recite the Holy Quran with translation, and start realising the meaning behind the words. I would think about every thing I spoke, careful not to hurt anyone, for God was watching. Hence, in every way, at every time, I would try and remember that God is my Creator, my life is in His Hands. I belong to Him and no one else.
I could not have asked for a better change in myself. I could not have asked of a more perfect gift in life than seeking out God and submitting yourself wholly to Him. I know I am not religious enough to be a scholar, or have enough religious knowledge or aptitude to teach about it, but God has given me the strength to learn. Every day, I learn something more. Each day brings a new experience, a new reality, a new sign of love from God. And truth be told, this world does seem like a better place now. Yes, I do get upset and depressed at times, but as I mentioned above, I'm human. I am bound to my emotions. But God is so Merciful and Kind that He never lets me be sad for long, as long as I remember Him. He is mine, and I am His. And I pray for this bond to last for as long as I live.
Very strong piece.
ReplyDelete