Judging and being judged - a reply.

Yesterday, I came across a post by the title "Judging and being judged", the link of which I have posted below for reference.

http://wayofaseeker.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/judging-and-being-judged/

The post was beautifully written, even if I refused to agree with every single word of it. I thought of replying on the post but then what better way to reply to a blogpost, than by another blog post? So here it goes.

According to the writer, we all judge, it is something that comes naturally to all of us. Therefore, since it comes so naturally, we should be careful and expose our noble side instead of our immature and stupid side, especially on social and public forums like Twitter where people don't know us by anything other than our tweets or what we post. 

But I disagree. Maybe judging might come naturally to all of us, because if we are expressing our opinion about a person, any person, whether it's good or bad, it is judging. However, we could all learn to keep our opinions to ourselves where we believe that the opinion is too critical or too negative. For example, some person, let's name him A, decides to post something funny but offensive. You'd automatically assume he likes offensive jokes, and likes to mock people around him. Now what if, what if that person decides to judge you right back? What if he decides you're not as noble as you believe yourself to be? What then? Wouldn't you feel bad for judging him in the first place, because he just retaliated to your snide comment? This is what judging does. 

Furthermore, how can we judge someone, how did we even get the right to critically analyze someone, when our own self is full of flaws? We all know that us, being humans, makes us imperfect. That we are flawed. There was only one man perfect in the history of time and he was the Holy Prophet (SAW). Then, how can we point fingers at someone when we are sinning in some different way? I read a saying somewhere which applies beautifully here - "Don't judge someone because they sin differently than you."

The next point was that we should show our nobler, mature side instead of showing our stupid and immature side. Now that's laughable for two reasons - firstly, maybe a person doesn't have a noble side, what then? And secondly, why bother being all high and mighty for people on a social forum, people you barely know, people who for all you know might as well be fake accounts? How many of your followings have you met in real life? See, that answers in my question.

And the most important argument of all - why pretend? Why pretend to be someone you're not? Why pretend to post serious tweets when you actually want to post funny ones and vice versa? Wouldn't that be hypocrisy in it's purest form? To tweet or show people what we're just pretending to be, in order to be popular, or considered more religious, or considered more dignified? I don't think pretense is the key to success. I see so many people on Twitter everyday, who just post things so that people will "like" them for what they tweet, not for who they are. I have even talked to a lot of people from Twitter and realised that they are not at all what they show themselves to be on Twitter. They just tweet stuff, serious stuff, in order to get some sort of approval from the Twitter oldies. And since they're all hiding behind a screen, it doesn't matter, right? But it does. A person who can be hypocritical in such a thing, can be a hypocrite in real life, which never ends well, neither for them or for their loved ones. 

My point remains. Don't judge because ultimately you wouldn't want to be judged yourself. And don't change yourself for some random people behind a screen, for all you know, they might not be the people you thought them to be, they might just be pretending to be something they're not, themselves. Be yourself. You couldn't do any better than that. Trying to copy someone else, or to try to be someone you're not is the worst thing you could do to yourself, trust me, I know. I learnt it the hard way. 

Regrets or no regrets, that is the question

Today, I got asked an interesting question on ask.fm, a site on which people can ask you questions anonymously, and you answer them. The question was and I quote - Nobody is born in this world with their own choice. If you had to.. would you change your beliefs or will you remain the same? End quote. 

It inspired me enough to write a post about it because I don't think I could have justified my answer in just a couple of lines. 

Contrary to popular belief, I do not feel ashamed in any way of being an Ahmadi, regardless of how this country and most of it's population has made me feel. I feel no regrets in belonging to a sect, which has been ostracized by the nation. I do not think I could have it any better, belonging to a community where people are so loving and caring, that they put forward their others' needs in front of their own, where people are tightly knitted into a brotherhood. I can not even imagine a life without Ahmadiyyat and the brother/sisterhood that comes along with it. 

This country has learned just to detest Ahmadis. The new generations have grown up being brainwashed, learning that Ahmadis are not good people, in every sense of that word. I have seen little kids, barely in their teens, writing posts on social networks about how Ahmadis deserve to die, and if you ask them whether they even know why they hate Ahmadis so much, they have no answer because they do not know the history. Nowadays, it's like this - if people figure it out that you're Ahmadi, they will stop talking to you without any explanation, and they will expect you to realise that it is your fault, not theirs. They will constantly keep it hanging over your head that you're an Ahmadi, which in this country means you are no less than a piece of dirt on the road, meant to be stepped and stomped on. Not everyone is like that, this I'd like to clarify here. I have found a LOT of people in real life, and on social networking who sympathize with Ahmadis, and who know I'm an Ahmadi and are still on very good terms with me. So, saying the whole nation is against Ahmadis would be one of those huge lies which you can't take back. There are a lot of people backing us up and supporting us Ahmadis as well.

Coming back to the question, I'd like to say, I wouldn't change a single thing. Although I do wish that I could help make the authorities realise that we aren't plotting a conspiracy, like they believe we are, nor do we stray from the teachings of Islam in any way, even though that is a matter of man and God, not man and man. I also wish I could make them realise that we are a peace loving community. But that is something out of my hands. Living as an Ahmadi in Pakistan is very hard, considering you see banners and flyers everywhere, spewing profanities at us, and some shops don't allow us to go inside as if we are some bad omen, and then there are the looks.. The looks that follow you where ever you go, judging you, criticizing you, condemning you. Regardless of all this, if it were my choice, I would stay here, in this community. Because everything aside, Ahmadiyyat have given me so much, that without it, I don't think I'd be as religious and spiritual as I am now. I also wouldn't have the motto "Love for all, hatred for none" etched into my mind. I have so many blessings that have only been given to me because of Ahmadiyyat, and I truly would not have it any other way. 

However, here, I would want to thank all of my non-Ahmadi friends, every single one of them, which I have made through the years in real life, and on Twitter and Facebook, for supporting me through this, for not judging me for which sect I belong to, for not leaving me because of me being an Ahmadi, for loving me as I am. I have been a pessimist throughout my life, having seen what has happened to Ahmadis over the years. I have seen that hate myself in university when half of the people just cut off all contact with me, and the other half just made fun of my religion behind my back, but you guys have made me realise that there are a lot of genuinely sincere people out there as well. I can not thank you enough for that. 

Beggars - a life time of no respect and dignity

Beggars - every where you turn in Pakistan, you can see them - at traffic lights, public places, near shops. Some are begging for money because they are poor and have children to feed, others flaunt their disabilities by showing some tumour or their twisted bones. It can literally make you cringe and make you give them money just to make them go away. 

There are some women beggars who have little kids in their arms, usually with a cloth over the babies' heads. I always noticed that the babies were usually so calm. Never have I ever seen a crying baby or a screaming one. After doing some research, it turns out that half of the babies are drugged and sedated so as to not create a scene. Some after constant drugging even pass away. The other half.. Are already dead. So these women, who pretend to need money for their children are actually harming and killing these little infants, who have done nothing other than being born in the wrong household. 

Then are the people who flaunt their physical disabilities. It is one thing to have a physical disability; God tests his men in very different ways, but it is an entirely different thing to flaunt it and try to gain sympathy in monetary terms. That is like throwing your self-respect and dignity on the ground and stomping your dirty foot over it. 

After that are people who are actually quite well, they have no disabilities whatsoever. But they are just too lazy to actually work for money. Hence, they choose something that comes easier - begging. They choose to beg for money instead of working even a low wage job. Once, a beggar came to a relative asking for money. My relative asked her why she chose begging as a life career instead of doing some proper work when clearly she had the abilities to do so. Her reply was - "baji paisay dainay hain toh dain, warna keh dain nahin dainay. Ye kaam shaam na karayain." 

There are also small children, literally 3-4 year old children who are forced to beg so that their parents can snatch all their money from them as soon as they go home. These kids are sent to some public place or near traffic lights, while an elder watches over them from a distance and then as soon as they get some money, the elder just takes it all away. These kids, who should actually have been in schools, are on the roads, learning to beg, and forgetting a thing called self-respect. 

I don't believe in beggars. I don't believe in throwing your dignity for a Rs.10 note. I don't believe in people who choose to beg instead of doing proper work for money. Yes, we all give money to beggars, because it's sadqah, but it still does not in any way mean that you should choose make begging a career and make the most of it. Life is not easy for anyone. Every one has to work hard. Choosing the easy way out is not really the answer and never will be.